when a man loves a woman

i'm not that close to my aunt ross..
all i can remember of her is just as my cousin lia describe..

I know her as a beautiful tall woman, nice manicure, talk frankly, fine clothes, designer's bag, and wise one... guess she always be like that in our mind...

we, a few of her niece, and nephew, flew to our grandparents home at binjai, an hour from medan. to see her for the last time.. she was lying there, after 40 days of struggle in the hospital, and a month without any food at all...

welcoming us, her loyal husband, pak uwo awang, gave us a big hug,, and told us to kiss her.. and pray for her... we all cried, to see her there.. she was just sleeping there.. i remembered she used to call us ontel.. si ontel ontel ini... or si jibun... followed with her laugh..

still remembered her voice, when i called her last puasa.. giving her spirit to eat, makan yang banyak dong uwo, nanti makin lemes aja.. iya na, ga enak lidah uwo, tak ada rasanya...

my aunt and uncle dont have any child.. that's why all of us all together flew there.
i cried everytime i see pak uwo awang, he loved her wife so much, you could see his love, and his pain.. he lost his companion, someone he thinks that would keep him company till the day he died, growing old, so old together.. didn't think it would happened so fast, 40 days only.. and he lost his love, not even a single day he leave her side.. stayed in hospital 40 days straight...

he kissed her over and over again, in her cheek, in her eyes, in her forehead...

then after they bathed her, sholat, and take her to the cemetery... then she was gone.. they bury her in my grandparents grave... sleeping next to her parents..

***

i sat on the porch, after noon bath, the lonely man came sat next to me, he said.. waktu dia masih disini rasanya seperti masih ada dia, tapi waktu dia dibawa ke kuburan, di taruhnya dia di dalam lobang, di tutup sama tanah.. wuuss.. jauuuuuuh sekali rasanya sama dia... i just sat there frozen listening to him.. kadang masih suka berasa kalo liat pintu, rasa rasa suster mau lewat, hehehe.. lama sekali kita di rumah sakit, ga bener tidurnya... and then he stopped, and tell another story.. waktu pertama pindah ke binjai.. tiap 2 minggu sekali kita jalan ke pasar, beli es kalimantan 4 bungkus, buat di stock dirumah.. lalu 2 minggu kemudian beli lagi, terus begitu berbulan bulan.. eh lama lama kita berdua batuk.. hahaha.. abis itu ga mau lagi minum es kalimantan itu...

then in the morning when i just woke up, i sat on the sofa holding a big pillow, he just got out of his room, and sat next to me... his eyes was staring at my hand.. searching for something.. searching for my wedding ring.. i hide my other hand under the pillow.. he asks.. where is it?.. tadaa.. haha.. he laughs.. wear it all the time okay, dont loose it.. i smiled.

then one afternoon he sat with me again, telling all detail since my aunt was taking pills years ago, till he watched her dying on the ICU room.. after that, he was staring at his garden.. what a mess he said, we left it like this for a month.. its gonna take me 2 week cleaning them all.. after all this mess are cleaned.. then.. then we'll.. he smiled at me..

he told my mom and all my aunts, i wont be long in binjai... sooner or later i will move.. i already put her in place close to her parents.. i cant take care of her all the time... its okay she's safe.. she's close to her home, and her families...

i know its hard for him to loose his wife.. and all the memories he has to see a glimpse of her.. in the garden where they used to spent their mornings, in the kitchen where they used to spent their afternoon, in the porch where they used to laugh, in the little corner of es kalimantan stand... he lost his wife..


pak uwo, i dont want to loose you too...